Monday, May 26, 2008

Maureen's Mailbag

As I mentioned earlier, blog posting will be rather light for some time. To help you get by, though, here are a couple of letters from readers who understand what this apostolate is all about and support me and my great work. -- MM

Dear Maureen,

I stumbled across your blog this morning and it just had me laughing out loud. In fact, I was going to post a comment about Chesterton (the patron saint of people who read all the time), but you were already there on that one.

Your post on laypeople at 'Stuff Catholics like' was simply hilarious. I can only imagine that those who suggested you were mean-spirited were a bit tired from the Reiki/Exposition parish Prayer 'n' Pamper marathon they'd been facilitating the night before.

In fact, 'laypeople' reminded me of a woman I met this week who runs a controversial prayer group in our church. She told me she doesn't 'really hear God in the bible' and prefers to use the 'pictures' she has in her head. Although she did say that one woman for whom she had had a 'picture' of a 'forgotten memory' proceeded to leave her husband, become an alcoholic and then moved in with a woman. (I'm not making this up!!). Needless to say, my best friend commented 'I hope you didn't let her pray for you.'

Keep up the good work.


HJ in the UK


Your blog is soooooo funny! I haven't laughed this hard in quite a while.

Some of your characters remind me of when I endured an apparently typical RCIA program a few years back. On the death of Betty Friedan, the RCIA director, a former nun, stood in front of the group eulogizing the late feminist. "Oh, she was criticized for exploring Marxist philosophy and, yes, her views on abortion we would consider wrong," she explained. Then she proceeded to tell how reading The Feminine Mystique as a teenager "profoundly impacted my life." And then, with a straight face, she announced to all the women in the group, "Thanks to Betty Friedan, you all can wear pants."

Keep writing and God bless you,

RP in the U.S.A.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

My stuff is up at Inside Catholic today

Three of my stories are up today at Inside Catholic. They will be familiar to regular readers of this blog.

As I mentioned before, you should add Inside Catholic to your blogroll, too, so you can keep up with their cover stories, as well as the goings-on at the Inside blog everyday.

For my part, blogging will be light for quite awhile. If you add me to your Google or Yahoo! homepage, however, you will always be up-to-date on what is going on with this blog and my apostolate.

God bless, Maureen

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Woman Who Left Catholic Church Over Sex Scandal Actually Just Wanted to Sleep In


Photo courtesy of
Neighbors are becoming disenchanted with Sandy Shaw's activism against the Catholic Church.

BOISE, IDAHO – Neighbors who hailed an area woman for leaving the Catholic Church over the sex abuse scandal are coming to grips with the fact that she just wanted more time to sleep and run errands.

Sandy Shaw, a data entry technician for Global Technologies, Inc. in Boise, impressed her friends and neighbors when she announced last year that she had “had enough of the sex abuse scandal” and was “leaving the Catholic Church” as a result.

“She was indignant,” said Marla Davies, her next door neighbor. “She said she had had enough of the Church and didn’t want to bring her children up in it. I was proud of her and invited her to my church. She seemed excited at first, but every Sunday morning when I would walk over to see if she, her husband, and the girls wanted to go to church, one of the girls would answer the door, saying her mom was asleep,” said Davies.

“The last Sunday I approached her, she just waved me off, saying she had to get her nails done,” said Davies. “That’s when I lost all respect for her. She’s no activist. She’s just tired and vain.”

Other neighbors said they were also impressed with Shaw’s stand at first. “It was kind of like a David and Goliath story, except, you know, with a woman,” said Phillip Turner, who lives across the street from Shaw. “Here was this mother of two, taking on the Vatican of all places, by deciding she wasn’t going to church anymore. She was going to show them that she wasn’t going to stand for the abuse.”

“I thought it was all really cool, until I started seeing her out in her robe, watering her gardenias on Sunday morning,” said Turner. “What she was doing didn’t seem any more heroic than me drinking beer on my porch for hours, which is what I do every Sunday. I guess I was kind of hoping for a neighborhood Erin Brockovich, but what I got were some old reruns of that show Alice. It sort of shattered the whole activist image for me.”

Cassie Donovan said she really felt for Shaw and the hurt she had experienced over the Church sex abuse scandal. “She said she was so upset about the scandal that it played a part in her getting her tubes tied. Sandy said she didn’t know of any priest personally who was implicated or involved in the scandal, but it really made her angry."
"She didn’t want to bring any more kids into the world and risk having them abused -- she said that, and that the two kids she had were about to drive her mental and she didn’t want anymore,” said Donovan. “Not long after that, she quit the Church.”

“At the time, I really admired her strength,” said Donovan. “It was like she was thumbing her nose at the Church and everything it stood for. But then after awhile, I realized she was just thumbing her nose at the Church and everything it stood for.”
Welcome, Creative Minority Report readers!

Gay Marriage Threat to Those Traditionally Married, Multiple Times

Photo courtesy of engagement rings of London

Gay marriage will wreak havoc on traditional marriage, say those who have been married and divorced.

COLUMBIA, SC. – The California Supreme Court’s recent decision to overturn the ban on gay marriage is a threat to traditional marriage, say those who have been married multiple times.

Miles Stewart, a Columbia attorney who is preparing to take his third trip down the aisle next week, said the California Supreme Court’s ruling bothers him a great deal. “Marriage is something I take very seriously. It’s between a man and a woman, and it’s a sacrament, even if it doesn’t take the first two or three times,” he said. “But with this ruling, though, marriage is becoming utterly meaningless.”

Many are saying the ruling will further erode the dignity of marriage, and accelerate the disintegration of society in general. “What’s next? Polygamy?” asked Walter Andrews, a stock broker with Brooks & Wise in Philadelphia. “At least I took the time to divorce each of my wives in between marriages. With polygamy, you’re all just thrown in there together, doing gosh knows what. Not that that idea isn’t tempting, but you know what I’m saying.”

Marnie Reid, a Winston-Salem mother of two, who was just granted a divorce from her first husband, agrees that the ruling is bad for society. “These gay couples are going to have children through surrogates, and then get gay divorces later on, only to get remarried later, so their kids will have gay stepmothers and stepfathers,” she said. “What a confusing mess. What kind of society lets that happen?”

Pastor Bob Jackson, of Abundantly and Eternally Blessed Life in Christ Church in downtown Columbia, agreed. “I do a lot of pre-marriage counseling and this new ruling has alarmed some of my people. Some of these folks are gun shy to give marriage a second or third try. They are saying to me, ‘Pastor Bob, why should I even bother getting a marriage license? It’s all become a joke. I have to say I agree with them.”

Jackson added, “I am not going to condemn or throw stones at the gay elites, though. However, the Bible says a lot about this kind of thing and I’m sure God would like to throw all of them in a Lake of Fire right now.”

Welcome readers from the Anchoress!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Light blogging

Hello, dear readers...
Between being almost eight-months-pregnant and heavily involved in church work, I won't be posting a whole lot over the next few days. (I have a lot of work to do around here involving Dreft.)

You have my permission, though, to read other blogs for news during this time.

God bless,Maureen
P.S. The nuns say, 'hello!'

Thursday, May 08, 2008

My post is up at "Stuff Catholics Like"


It may be hard for you to believe, but I have actually found the time to squeeze a new apostolate into my already busy life. In addition to mentoring a new cantor at church and teaching an advent wreath making class at Michael's (evangelism is very important, as you know), I am writing posts for "Stuff Catholics Like," a new blog. These won't be news stories, but informative posts designed to teach. Please check it out here. The first post is about laypeople. It's all about me, and it is a subject very near-and-dear to my heart!

Thank goodness I found this fantastic order of nuns to care for my family and make it all possible!

Der Tommissar is.... back. He makes me laugh really hard.

Meanwhile, I am looking into becoming a member of Patrick and Matthew's family.. They are willing to trade a sister and possibly supply me with Diet Coke, so we'll see.

Oh, if you were offended in any way by my Laypeople post, you might enjoy this news story from a couple of years ago -- or you might just get offended again. :)

Monday, May 05, 2008

McCain Campaign Staffers Debate Whether Future Wars Should Be Waged Against ‘Whoever’ or ‘Whomever’

Photo courtesy ABC news
McCain at a recent campaign rally.

WASHINGTON, D.C. –-John McCain campaign staffers debated how to best warn the nations of the world of their impending demise in a grammatically correct way during a breakfast meeting at campaign headquarters yesterday.

“Could someone please just tell me whether President McCain will go to war with whoever or whomever?”John Jenkins, head speechwriter for McCain asked the other staffers as he threw down his bagel. “Damn, I just wish the AP Stylebook were as clear as Augustine’s just war theory.”

The debate began when the campaign and policy team came together to write the week’s stump speeches, news releases and talking points.

“Well, we’ve got to come to an agreement on this, otherwise three-fourths of the globe won’t sufficiently understand they’ve just been put on notice,” said Judy Gunnells, communications director for the McCain campaign. “Every despot east of New Jersey is going to laugh at us if we don’t use whomever,” she said. “Against. It’s a preposition, people. This sentence is just crying out for whomever.”

“Yeah, but it sounds weird,” said Tom Clemmons, lead pollster for the campaign. “We’re the Straight Talk Express for crying out loud, not the Strunk & White trolley.”

Jenkins said he appreciated the diversity of thought among staffers. “No one can accuse us of not having lively debate in this campaign,” he said. “Nobody can accuse us of groupthink, that’s for sure.”

“Hey everybody, let’s not emasculate President McCain’s words before they even come out of his mouth by using whomever,” said Clemmons. “All the leaders out there need to understand that if they even think about weapons of mass destruction, that President McCain will plunge their countries into 100 years of bitter war or at least of American occupation, if we’re lucky.”

“Yeah, but you know Obama is going to use who and whom correctly,” said Gunnells. “The New York Times will notice, too.”

“Yes, but where’s his credibility, anyway? Obama also thinks we should talk to the leaders of Iraq, Iran, Syria, North Korea, Serbia, Russia and China,” said Clemmons. “Am I leaving out anybody? Probably. Anyway, for shorthand, let’s just say the Eastern Hemisphere. Obama wants to talk to the leaders of the Eastern Hemisphere. What….an elitist jackass.”

Jenkins agreed. “Yeah, that is completely quixotic,” he said. “Obama is really tilting at windmills.”

Striving to be a Higher Being