Group Protests Catholic Church's Teachings on Moderation

CHICAGO -- A new group has formed in order to protest the Catholic Church's centuries-long stand on eating and drinking in moderation.

Full Effect was created in Chicago, Illinois, last Tuesday with the purpose of educating the public and the Vatican about the failures and dangers of moderation. "Moderation doesn't work," said Aimee Riordan, founder and president of Full Effect. "Study after study has shown that people just want to eat and drink as much as they want. They like it."

Although only days old, the fledgling group boasts 15 members who have already started planning a trip to the Vatican. Roger Waits, a former Men's Big and Tall Clothing Store manager, said he has been waiting for a group like this to form for a long time. "You mean to tell me that if there is a plate of cookies sitting in front of me that the Vatican expects me to only eat a couple and then stop?" asked Waits, who was painting signs for the march. "Well, I can't stop, and I want the Catholic Church to give me another alternative."

Buttons and t-shirts featuring the slogans: "There's No Shame in a Fifth Helping" and"Food is Love" have been created for members for the event.

Riordan and her group said they are concerned about the rising rate of obesity and obsesity-related ailments in the West, particularly in America. Riordan said obesity can be directly tied to the Church's failed stand on moderation.

"The antiquated idea that people should be able to control themselves should have died with St. Thomas Aquinas in the Middle Ages, yet the Pope expects people in the year 2005 to live like this," said Riordan.

Riordan and her group are lobbying the Vatican to try to persuade the Pope to reverse the Church's stand on moderation and bless alternative methods of weight control such as diet pills, Syrup of Ipecac use, stomach stapling, liposuction and gastric bypass surgery.

"It would mean a lot to millions of people if the Pope would not only put his blessing on these options, but encourage the people to use them," said Riordan. "No one should go to Krispy Kreme without a bottle of Syrup of Ipecac for afterward. It is the responsible thing to do, and people need to be encouraged to do it."

Molly Stevens, a freelance graphic artist, said she is optimistic about the organization and its goals."It will be great when one day people can go for that 7th piece of pizza and not feel guilty about it, or worry about the consequences."