Sunday, July 03, 2005

Woman Finds Ann Coulter Doll Preferable to Real Thing

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Wharton's favorite columnist

In shocking turn of events, an Iowa woman has grown more fond of her Ann Coulter doll than of the actual Constitutional lawyer-turned-columinist.

"I bought the doll because I liked Ann's columns in Jewish World Review," said Patti Wharton, a receptionist at the Coca-Cola Bottling Company of Des Moines, Iowa. "But after watching her on TV a few times, though, I've decided I think I like the doll better."

Wharton said there were several factors that led to this stunning sea change. "The doll is a lot quieter, and makes better points when she does talk," said Wharton. "I think the doll has a better grasp of facts, too."

She said she has contemplated buying a Bill O'Reilly doll, but is afraid of what the consequences could be.

Striving to be a Higher Being