Masturbation Only True Form of Safe Sex, Says Activist

Hands-On Lovers Want People to Throw Away the Condoms.

LAS VEGAS -- Throw aways your condoms, your birth control pills and your relationship, because masturbation is the only way to ensure a safe and stable sex life, according to John Lee Morgan, a national safe sex activist.

"There is no form of contraception that protects against STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) 100 percent of the time," said Morgan. "With masturbation, however, your greatest risk is carpal tunnel syndrome. I don't know about you, but I would rather have the wrist pain. "

Morgan is so committed to spreading the word about safe sex through masturbation, he has formed the nationwide organization, Hands-On Lovers, Inc. to educate the public about why 'going solo' is preferable to anything else out there.

"I trust myself more than any sexual partner I could ever have," said Morgan. "I know I am not going to give myself a disease."

Morgan said one of the organization's biggest thrusts is promoting masturbation itself. The group is working to overcome the societal stigma of masturbation with bumper stickers and billboards that say, 'Give Yourself a Hand if You Masturbate!'

Jenna Caruthers, a receptionist at Turner-Thompson Financial Services in Las Vegas, was one of Hands-On Lovers first members. "I used to be fairly sexually active with people until I started really thinking about the fact that condoms have a 12 to 15 percent failure rate," she said. "If I were offered a free ticket on a cruise to the Bahamas, but told there was a 12 percent chance I would die, you know what? I would just stay home and pleasure myself."

"Sex, for all its pleasures, brings a lot of hidden surprises: diseases and sometimes even children," said Morgan. "And please, don't give us the committed relationship garbage being a key to safe sex. I've been married six times, I know a thing or two about commitment, and it's no guarantee," Morgan said.