Friday, September 09, 2005

Baton Rouge Residents Secretly Pleased Over New Orleans' Demise

Image hosted by
BR to world: Give us a try. We have crime and substandard housing, too.

BATON ROUGE, LA. -- As thousands of Hurricane Katrina refugees leave New Orleans, and businesses there close up shop forever, residents of are admitting privately they are happy to finally get some attention.

"I wouldn't want anybody to know I feel this way, but I gotta say it's about time," said Derby Fontenot, editor of The Baton Rouge Business Times. "Companies always go to New Orleans despite the terrible school system. Well, now we can proudly say, "You can't go to New Orleans, even if you wanted to. Relocate your business here and put your kids in our crummy schools."

Some say BR is the victim of inadequate publicity. "New Orleans never had anything on us," said Capt. Ed Thibbideaux, an officer with the Baton Rouge police department. "People talk about crime in New Orleans, but did you know we have had three serial killers, and one is still at large? That's pretty impressive. New Orleans can't boast about crimes like that."

Others say BR's ammenities rival those of New Orleans. "Sure, we don't have the jazz festivals, the 300-year-old buildings, the Cafe du Monde, or the street performers," said Gwen Babineaux, the Community Outreach director for the Chamber of Commerce. "But our local government is inept at times, and we are supposed to get a trolley soon."

"If another big natural disaster comes along, we are hoping we can snag Memphis and Atlanta," Ernie Soileau, a member of the Baton Rouge City Council, said.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

This Side of Jordan

I received my review copy of This Side of Jordan by Bill Kassel in the mail today. Tonight, after I go to Michael's for some much-needed wire ribbon, fake pine branches, and candles, I plan to start reading. Look for a review in the near future.

Attention chocolatiers and food and beverage vendors: I am also available to review chocolates, candies, fine wines and cheeses. Sometimes we bloggers have to make sacrifices for the good of society, you know?

Friday, September 02, 2005

Hurricane Katrina Damage Caused by Hurricane, According to NOAA

Image hosted by
Photo courtesy of NOAA

BATON ROUGE, LA. -- The horrific hurricane-force winds, rain, flooding and storm surges the U.S. Gulf Coast region experienced Monday night were caused by a hurricane, according to The National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration (NOAA.)

"People have been trying to figure out what caused this devastation," said Dr. Phil Mixon, chief meterologist at NOAA. "Some believe it was caused by all the partying done at Mardi Gras, others blamed the huge Catholic population in New Orleans, and some attributed it to President Bush's decision to invade Iraq, but after careful research, we figured out that what actually caused the damage was just a really big hurricane."

Some were not convinced, however. In a new TIME Magazine/CNN poll, the overwhelming majority of conservatives and liberals believe that somebody on the Gulf Coast probably angered God. Responses given for the destruction ranged from "gambling sinners" to "too many gas-guzzling SUVs on the roads" to presidential policies gone awry.

"So you mean to tell me they are saying a hurricane caused that destruction?" asked Cindy Marshall, a buyer for Marshall Fields in Chicago. "Even so, somebody must have done something to provoke the hurricane, right?"

The Rev. Warren Martin, of Friendship Baptist Church in Nashville, Tenn.,also has doubts the destruction was caused by a hurricane. "If you are truly one of God's children, He will bless you," said Martin. "They weren't blessed, so what does that tell you." Martin and a team of lay missionaries will minister to refugees at some of the shelters in Louisiana and Texas. Martin and his parishoners will distribute food, clothing and diapers once refugees agree to ask Jesus "into their hearts," and commit to Christ. "Spiritual hunger is what we are really fighting here, and we have the answer," he said.

Welcome, Anchoress and Curt Jester readers!
*If this article pleased or offended you in any way, please donate to Catholic Charities (See next post.)

Striving to be a Higher Being