Friday, January 13, 2006

Hasbro Launches New Jolie-Pitt World Domination! Game

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Live Vicariously Through Jolie and Conquer the World

NEW YORK -- Buy children away from hungry Third World mothers, rack up honorary citizenships from other lands, and be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize just for having great hair with Hasbro's exciting new game: Jolie-Pitt World Domination!

The new computer game, inspired and partly developed by Hollywood supercouple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, features Sims-like characters engaging in all types of challenges, including meeting with your stylist in order to choose a smart, yet sexy outfit, for a last-minute U.N. meeting; dodging paparazzi; impressing your new leading man/leading lady; setting up the perfect photo-op in small, impoverished African village, and more. As Jolie and Pitt, use your good looks and powers of empathy to overtake the entire planet. Points are scored on the basis of favorable news clippings and positive poll numbers.

All proceeds from World Domination will be given to The United Nation's Children's Fund.

Brad Pitt said he is pleased with his latest charitable endeavor. "Hasbro has partnered with us to help wipe out poverty in our time," said Pitt. "It can be done, and I don't know why wiping out poverty hasn't been thought of before. It just makes so much sense."

Jolie, who could not be reached for comment because she is filming her new movie, "The Good Shepherd" on location, purportedly told a Dominican Republic aid worker on Tuesday, "Yes, I am pleased with the World Domination! game." The aid worker told Extra! magazine's Billy Bush that as Jolie spoke, a nimbus appeared around her head and the gentle sound of angel wings fluttering could be heard in the distance. The aid worker added that Jolie "is a real hottie."

Pitt reportedly told an African aid worker he thinks Jolie should be considered for some type of honorary sainthood from the Catholic Church, in addition to her honorary Cambodian citizenship. "Spending the day with Angie is like spending the day with Mother Teresa. Well, except without all those annoying moral constraints."


Striving to be a Higher Being